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Sorry Mom, I Went To A Nude Beach

by Leah Goodwin

HAHA!  I bet yall did come to read about me going to a nude beach! lol Well, it really happened!

What had happened was…

I was tricked! Bamboozled! Hoodwinked! Swindled! Double-crossed! Into seeing things that I can never unsee!

So what had really happened was…about 4 years ago when I lived in Hawaii, I was invited on a weekend trip to Maui by my ex-boyfriend, who’s brother lived there. We had spent the whole weekend there and then on Sunday, his brother wanted to take us to the beach to chill. It was right before sunset when we got there and as we walked on the beach, I noticed there was a group of people. I’m like, “ok cool! We’re at a beach party!” As we walk up, everyone was dancing and laughing and there was a strong stench of weed so I’m like, “ok cool! People are out here having a good time, just living life!” We keep walking further and then…BOOM….I saw a penis!!! Now, I’m like, “whoooooooa! That escalated quickly! haha! I looked at my ex-boyfriend and he’s looking like I’m looking and then I look at his brother and his girlfriend and they’re dying laughing at us! I’m trying to play it cool so I’m trying not to stare at anybody or make a “wow” face cuz Lord knows my face is very expressive! There was this old -naked- man with 2 topless young girls on each side of him and I’m like…he must have some money or something because he was not good looking by any means or maybe..they liked what they saw! Idk, I didn’t look! lol There were naked people just laying on blankets, chilling. Naked people in the water. Naked people dancing. Honestly, there weren’t really a lot of naked people. Maybe about 15% of people out there were naked but that was enough for me! lol

I got my little blanket out and found a small spot in the crowd to sit and people watch…not penis watch! lol They had people doing body paint and there was a little boy who was dressed in “tribal”? clothing which I thought was very inappropriate considering the number of naked people and weed around. I’m pretty sure they were selling weed and probably popping pills too. My ex’s brother said the cops knew all about the party but don’t do anything about it because they aren’t hurting anyone. I even saw a newspaper article about it the next day! lol That’s how chill Maui is!

As the sun went down, some fire dancers came out and they had someone hitting a bongo drum and it was just very…free-spirited! Everyone was feeling free (literally and figuratively), smoking weed (not me), and just enjoying life to the fullest! I actually really had a good time because the vibes were really good, everyone seemed happy and carefree.

Btw, I’m not really nude in the “CENSORED” picture 

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